My husband and I are on our first trip alone celebrating 5 years of marriage, yes you read that right, our first trip alone in 5 years. Barely over a month into our marriage I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test. We were both anxious to start a family and couldn’t be more excited or clueless. I had turned 19 a few weeks before our wedding and was weeks into being a wife…5 years later by the grace of God we have a beautiful family and a happy marriage. Social media of our life is simply a highlight reel and you will never find me publicly criticizing my husband even if I am frustrated with him. Putting down ourselves and allowing Holy Spirit to reveal weaknesses in ourselves is key to those moments. But I am ready to get real with moms about our marriages, after dropping my kids off with their grandparents I found myself so frustrated how could this be the FIRST trip in FIVE YEARS that I have taken alone with my husband. Of course newborns and finances have played roles in this but we have made other things happen and we say we prioritize our marriage over everything else, but is this even TRUE? This semester we attended a marriage small group led by two couples that we both consider best friends to our family and we all read a book called ” Lifelong Love Affair by Jimmy Evans.” In this book Jimmy encouraged couples to take a yearly vision retreat together and to reference a book called the Mountain Top of Marriage- A Vision Retreat Guidebook for Couples to take on this trip. Chase and I had wanted to do something to celebrate 5 years but our Anniversary is in December so we discussed pushing it to Spring, that would allow us more time to plan then Chase just said “No” we are doing it and we are doing it as soon as possible this book has influenced our marriage so much by applying principles in ourselves this is important and we are going, so here we are. Wives, Mom, future wives, I am begging you to grasp the principle that your husband is FIRST! I can’t lie I was nervous of writing this post because this is something that isn’t easy to do. I get it moms, I have toddlers they are demanding and not too long ago I was still in that infant stage and nursing a baby, I really do get it. But I also know that I absolutely neglected my husband and its not okay. One thing many of my friends know is that my kids have strict sleep schedules, partly because I think its healthy for them but also because I know that when both of my kids lay down by 8pm I have at least two uninterrupted hours to spend with my husband and having adult conversation with him that is necessary to sustain a marriage. One of the best things I can give my kids in life is a healthy family, and without a healthy marriage how am I able to do that? They have to know daddy comes first, of course I am not neglecting them when they need something important, but also is it such a bad lesson to teach a 4 year old to wait until mommy is done talking to daddy then she can have something? Ill never forget sleep training Daisy and it was so hard for both of us to listen to her little cry and Chase said to me if she never goes to sleep when will we ever have time together? That night I realized this is something I have to do not only for my children but for my husband. Listen I am guilty here. I am the mom that held those two angels at the top of everything else in my life, including myself and all it did for me was push my husband away, take away confidence in who I was outside of a mother, and cause me to not fulfill God given purpose on my life. I strongly believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children sets the foundation for how they form bonds when they get older. In my opinion, my husband and I are the first example of what being in a happy marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future significant others (and what they should expect in return) by watching us. If you have found yourself here its really okay, but apologize to your husband remind him of your adoration for him and don’t neglect the time you have together. Those sweet angels will leave someday and he will be there..make the most of it always not just before and after kids! I am so thankful for Chase and literally can’t imagine doing life without him!